By

Mike Boyle

Tips to a New Recruit

There are routes

to take up and down

the avenues

a bike lane on

6th

the avenue of the americas

another on

madison

but the best

are the outside

ones

1st and 9th

sometimes

broadway

which cuts

south

from the west side

uptown

to the east

downtown

broadway is one of the only

remenants

of the old trails

that used to run through

this land

before they

laid out the grid

do not even think

of riding against

the traffic or

on sidewalks

OK, try it

you'll see

upper west side

after 10p and all the orders

have been filled

riding down

9th

you should cut across

greenwich ave

which will drop you on

8th st

ride that east

till it turns into

st mark's

take that

almost to ave a

if ya wanna hang

with me

and the other

misfits

drunks

criminals

and

living legends

at the

international b&g

circa 1985

Mary Petruno

has run this place

for decades

there's an old

decaying buck head

on the wall

and it has the old-fashioned

pounded tin ceiling

Mary came here

like so many others

between world wars

from the ukraine

and eastern europe

she's around 80

do not even think

of fucking with her

they're open

till 4a

but sometimes

we hang till 5

and I buy

the old lady a drink

wishing she'd tell me

all her stories

but she never does

The Job

I was engaged

to be married

and the girl was saying how

I could work

and she could stay home

cook

clean

and have babies

which wouldn't have been

a BAD idea

if I had a good job

but

as it was

we were just scraping by

with both of us working

What do you think?

she asked

and I looked at her

welll

I dunno

while what I actually thought

was

they have a slave

and now

you want one too

A few phone calls

and weeks later

I was up in the city

as Choo-Choo

the guy that ran

we deliver

had offered me a job

with them

a year before

Mike Hoke

my friend

and

the bass player in my band

New Left

had been up there

for a year already

working for them

and we had been commuting

for gigs

and rehersals

They explained

how it worked

how dispatch was located

at Choo-Choo's place

on e 3rd st

a place with 3 phones

that took calls from noon

till 10

and supply was located

in the Chelsea Hotel

where you would go to stock up

for the day

and bring the cash and remaining product

back

at night

fine

Choo was cool

older than us

gay, in his mid 50's

ran the business with

Mike Rainbow

also gay

in his 50's

ex-yippie

knew Abbie

and the beats

Choo let me stay

at his place

where Mike Hoke lived

also

for a few months

then he got tired of us

musicians

there

went and got us a place

on ave a

put down the deposit

pay me back

when you can

Then I was on the phone

with the girl

saying

I have a place now

you could move up

be with me

and she sd

welll

I dunno

Then I was riding the bike

all over Manhattan

collecting money

giving most of it back

at the end of the night

Backstage Quotes

Soon after the incident

in the courtyard

I was pissing off

the

balcony

and she was yelling

how this was

no way to live

and I sd

welll,

you're the one that

threw

the TV out the

window

the manager was

knocking on the door

the whole time saying

Sir?

It was a humid

type heat

not like sticking your

head in the oven

like they say

was sweating

and liking it

in the lights

kids were swirling

around

stage diving

had this pile of

cinder blocks

in front of the mike

and saw

my manager

standing in the back

of the club

waving his hands

I just nodded

and started breaking

the things

with this steel pipe

I called

the kingpin

that I carried

under the seat

of my car

instead

of a gun

Somewhere

on the road

between

Phila

and NYC

we changed seats

so I could do a shot

in the back

think it was

snowing and you

sd you were too stoned

to drive

all Iggy thumbs

you sd

that was a good line

when we got to

NYC

the snow looked like

dirt

but the traffic

lights

parted

like the

red sea

stayed at the St James

Hotel

where they did

Big

hookers in the lobby

last chance

downtown

before

pressure point

yes

streets opened up

candy stores

Had this new amp

set way too high

on the treble

and the sound man

came rushing at it

swung my

at his head

I know what I'm

doing

man

bass and drums

all bottom

and I'm squealing

top

like lightning

everything else

gets

deadpanned

supposed to be like

war

Never hang out

backstage

after the gig

let 'em

wonder

again with the

candy lines

but now

just sidewalks

rock candy

glistening

in the summer heat

ave c

too white?

maybe

maybe floating

out

and up

again

cops eyes

all stiched up

night

like that

too

remembering

a pulse

ears

still

ringing

liking the blackness

of it all

just turn it

off

12 Beer Poem

I forget

all the things

they say

matter

Moon howling

giddy

there's

cars

still running

down the

boulevard

stars

winking

Around Midnight

I was in an all-night diner

on 2nd Ave.

in Manhattan

and it was

around midnight

I had just left my friends

at the International Bar and Grill

on St. Mark's Place

Which has the same misnomer

as St. Mark's Bar and Grill

no grill at either place

and my friends

Were in for the long haul again

till closing

and I was starving

my ass off

Because I had

rode my bike all over the island

of Manhattan

that day

And my last stop

was to 2 women

who decided

they liked me

And also decided that

I deserved a real treat

so we did the 69

and the 699

And some other things

and when I got out of there

my nuts

were like raisins

I ordered a big breakfast

Steak and eggs

homefries, toast and coffee

and when I was finished

Eating

I told the waitress

I'm a hell of a man

she gave me the bill

Patted my hand

told me

sure you are honey

pay at the counter

Trine

Mike

Linda and

I had already spent

the early evening

in tomkins sq park

drinking

smoking

getting to know

the people

we were becoming

but mostly

goofing

around

running to the deli

for 6-packs

every hour

or so

as the cops

walked by

and the in-crowd

walked by

and the bums

scouted out

the places

thay would be spending

the night

we weren't too concerned

about what was going on

in the hip clubs

within walking distance

and all the boho folks

wearing black

or dressing like

madonna

then

later

night

east river park

on a park bench

the projects on ave d

licking our backs

licking history

off

our backs

wind whispering something

and

watching

the planes

take off

from the 23rd st

seaport

Backstage at Irving Plaza

with Elrod, our drummer

and my junk

buddy

El started playing with us

a couple of months ago

after our old drummer

quit

and we spent months

looking for a replacement

and languishing

in street life

night life

and

well

that's not what I moved

up here for

sd he knew Bowie

and used to roadie

for the New York Dolls

and

after

the first night

he played with us

in the room

we shared

with the

Fuzztones

he sd

he was going to get

something for the head

and I went along

then

a month later

up on the roof

of the music building

shooting scag

watching the cars

on 8th ave

and then

earlier

that night

we were in the World club

on e 2nd st

and they were closed

but El knocked on the door

and Richie

the owner

knew him too

and we scored coke

and heroin

with Richie

El talked me into

buying a bunch

of coke

saying he could sell it

and we could do the

profits

and I stupidly

went along

because

I knew

nothing good

was going to happen

with the band I had

kept telling myself

I was just

playing out my hand

but coke

wasn't my thing

was too wired

already

speedballs

El sd

yeah

slams up

and settles back

down

into the warmth

of heroin

tried it

so El

seemed to know

everybody

and all that time

I never belived him

but he got us in

free

to see Johnny Thunders

knew the doorman

and introduced me to

Johnny

and Johnny asked

what's the name of yr band?

after El told him we had one

and I sd

the Fucknuts

and El looked at me weird

because that wasn't

our name

at all

and,

like I said

I knew it was going to hell

anyhow

my hand spilling out

on the floors

and avenues

then El tried to sell

Johnny

who he called

some coke

and JT

FUCK YOU MUTHERFUCKERS

and his manager

came up to us

Johnny's been trying

to get clean

and JT yelled at her

GET THOSE MUTHERFUCKERS

OUT OF HERE

and she sd

please leave

so we went out

to see the show

found some seats

next to Mike and Linda

who had paid

to get in

who had told me earlier

don't bring Elrod here

he's too much of a loudmouth

and I told them

don't worry

I ain't coming

anyhow

what are you doing here?

Mike asked

and I sd

my world too

fucknut

then I went

and got us a round of

beers

at the bar

Arthur "Killer" Kane was

up there

at the bar

with a bunch of others

that looked like

they just stepped out

of the early 70's

but uglier

gave Mike and Linda

their beers

El didn't want one

gowan

and sat

down

as El

harassed

the couple

next to us

till they moved

a few seats away

then JT came on

and it was the saddest

show I ever saw

there seemed to be nothing

left to him

he started one song

called

Joey, King of the Streets

and walked away

half way

through the thing

after the show

Mike was mad because

I met JT

and he didn't

and a month later

he and El were

having a fistfight

in our little apt

on ave A

then we were looking

for a drummer

again

and JT

went on

for a while

CHEESBURGER?

Was in Danceteria

with Mike and Nigel

listening to my monkey

who was going on

and on

about getting the hell

back downtown

QUICK!

But he always says that

nervous critter

specially after I had left him

out in the cold

in Phila a few weeks

before

Had been visiting old

friends there and took

a lot of the treats

he liked but ahhh

welll

we did them all in

one night

then next day

woke up in Cheryl's

place in Ardmore?

yeah

Long train ride back

sick

monkey almost

dead

So ahhh

Danceteria?

yes

Nigel had a few free passes

to see his buddies band

Blaze

who played this techno-funk

that really left me cold

his bud played bass and they had

this girl singer with big dyed red hair

Blaze

get it?

I mean BIG HAIR

it was the 80's

Backstage

after the show

Mike and Nigel engaged in

a conversation with this

guy that said he was a

PRODUCER

while I looked over at the singer

Blaze

she was looking back

as if she expected some kind of

TRIBUTE

was drinking champagne

in a long-stemmed glass

and SOAKING IT UP

had the in-crowd

and some photographers

gathered around

like they do

Sneered at her

blew a snotball

on the carpet and

went for a

BEER

when I got back

Mike and Nigel were saying how

this guy's connected man

and you could tell their

panties were on

FIRE

about the whole thing

how this is how people get

DISCOVERED

then this PRODUCER

is asking who's your singer?

he's liking this tribute thing also

it's in the air

thinks his greatness is in the air

looks like a shyster to me

Tony is,

Nigel sd

Welllll

why don't you sing me a song?

the PRODUCER sd

Nah, I don't think so

I told him

then my

FRIENDS

really put me on the spot

saying how I was a great

singer

and pleading with me

to give the man

what he wanted

Then there was a bit of

YELLING

and cursing

think the

PRODUCER

wanted to take a swing at me

but he didn't

and I left them all

there in the

GREATNESS

of the privleged ones

that get backstage

on momentous

nights like that