The Meat Game

 

 by Chris D’Errico

 

Versions of some of the poems contained herein

have previously appeared in print and online journals such as:

Unlikely Stories, Mojo Risin’, Nocturnal Lyric,

Apricorn Anthology & Las Vegas CityLife (online). 

 

 

 

Diving Into the Hedonic

 

the book made outrageous claims. life as this

insistent back-beat gone amok in sum

 

primitive raw to propagate, orchestrate

infernal melodies that play always in the flesh.

 

an enjambment of fire is there to deliciously heed

to feed wild arpeggios that augment the soul

 

& it is precisely this dangerous proposition

that gives worth to dreams & weight to our hearts.

 

a life of discord searching for some sweet harmony.

reveille & screw up magnificently.

 

an exquisite wreck, the divine comedienne redeemed

by an understated allure, an irresistible chemistry

 

stains each chapter of a crude apotheosis.

a glossary of bone, blood & song & in the soul

 

cultivate heart, sense, tolerance. some gravitate

toward utility. others, visions.

 

raising hell or rearing love

in its extroverted mutations, its intimate vibrations

 

a nod to the criminal adrenaline rush of idle dreamers

taking an axe to the system’s doctored ladder.

 

kisses like footnotes blown to the ephemeral,

the smug dance of knowledge implodes

 

to expose an appendix of sputtering nerves & animal tics.

dive in, chum. lost minions paddle on for greater shores.

 

exploding truths dissolve

the indigestible dirigible our hearts can become.

 

cast into the vast seas of sentiment & sleaze,

stupidity & sanctimony. surrounded by rotten cactus & killer bees,

 

alone in a crowded desert of compromise,

sample the fantastic nectar of the sweet & real.

 

a bibliography of hope, occasional treasure,

excavation of the lost, the challenge of truth & the allies of fear.

 

there is a lake of bodily fluid containing sacred scrolls buried

under its bed. dive in, chum, it’s a dicey hand, draw blood.

 

never mind the sharks.

 

 

Cut & Bleed

 

it’s stopped raining how nice

or so the night has

its g-rating it so desperately campaigned against

sinister amusement i complain but i have

nothing but this

breathing

the neon chemical landscape fake

night glistens hears but doesn’t listen

alone i listen alone overcrowded overpopulated

ripping through cigarettes like breathe mints

at a halitosis convention

dead pigeons out the window calling

the rats to supper

coughing engines grieving widows aging television

sirens

false alarms calling witness to everyday disasters

on the streets uppity mongrels all weird & bloated

flesh matters & anti-matter in the moon spotlight

competing with taxis for the biggest balls

a man jumped in front of the train today

or was pushed depressed or ecstatic no matter

time is lame, fat & depressed everybody knows

beggars coerce the rich in an obvious conspiracy

you know

as big as hercules was he was still a lazy son of a bitch

in someone’s eyes

goliath had an effeminate laugh

WELCOME TO CHINATOWN sign says

dry cleaners steaming away, jewelers chipping costs

leathered cops eyeing skirts

pass through the rude belch of hot air & BEHOLD

peasant gourmet pizza coffee donuts cigars anything

you want but don’t need the zeitgeist of poverty delivers

right on time

homeless royalty, spiels of the underclass sharing friction

i burn a travis bickle stare

ready for almost anything but the usual nothing occurs

BE PATIENT

doodle around with things i have no intention of buying

magazines, amusing canned goods

wipe the sweat off with the arm of my shirt

collect my head & get the hell out

i have nothing but this

spiritual commerce

karma never stunk so bad as when it ricochets back

from a rotten place disgusted & disgruntled with its job

so repetitive but purposeful only to those who accept

& receive it in good faith

 

buy or believe it sell it believe it the news is the same

we have nothing but this

everyday someone born someone dead while others contemplate

the tireless vector of the in between

 

 

Waitin’ For The Man

 

tic-tic-tic

menial hours dropped like punctuation

from a bloated sentence

some righteous riots, some foolish laments

hilarious breaks in the profundity

of a life mired in wishes wishes wishes

 

no calculating

the fighting, flailing, hope, thinking, emoting

this great spoof, this syrupy suicide, this inward gallop

this character-building exercise

which makes dreams appear & kills time for those without

the necessary imagination, responsibility

that can turn bitter

& difficult to bear

or grow huge heart & many heads

so many transparent in the light

 

bleeding memory

led to slaughter by conscience erasure

some sort of purgatory, remembering

the past, snatches of time stacked

bits of dialogue swept away

to a far corner like mouse turds & i wait

 

til that big door opens

a feast appears

 

how sweet sweet sweet i do hope it is

 

 

Street Music

 

the buskers lean into their song

spirit clustered tight, soul-snared

in poly-voice, novice subway ears

punched by blue-fisted melody’s cadence

 

the ear’s conundrum counterpointing

sophisticated jungle

& simplifying street fusion solos

raw & undeniable

 

quite a cornucopia of brain waves to feed my exhaustion

on the way to my daily grind

the subway’s rude interlude subsides

& i get the rhythm back & through

the pounding florescent at 8 in the morning 

i’m awake & coffee-less

 

remind me that

there’s more to this life

than the assembly line we’re lame, too quick

to head off to, when

the crowded train platform gives way to a crowded aisle

inside a cattle car, holding a greasy silver pole for support

stuffed against other humans & their various versions of humanity

some of it spat aloud, most with newspaper eyes whispering

 

that uncomfortable twitch

that brain-less silence that’s there because it has to be

passing time until we get where we’re supposed to be

i hear the music from the streets again & i am reminded 

 

there is work to be done

 

& it is of the soul

 

 

Digger’s Lament

 

skin is broken

all colors cleared

spirit whisked away in delicious

effervescent

cocktailed

elixir of sound

rumblings of a pure tarnished existence tuned

from lust   

suffering, self-sacrifice

& sure, some flat out stupid choices

dogged, beatific

eloquent in all its kinks

bringing it down to the laymen high on tragic love’s miracle

from the (w)hole that’s where its at & you’re enamored

of pain & struggle & the ability to transcend

the terrestrial, multi-dimensional, external prowess

born from the internal

totally human, yet otherworldly

profoundly awake

eternal

 

 

God’s Special Nonsense Creation

 

... so screw those harbingers of doom    on shellacked heels

moaning and lamenting over the dark and flirting

with true penance    as convincing as a classified ad

                                                                 from a Sunday rag

 

get a lift, get a lift from the wholly men

    who instruct

        who de-construct

laughing at the accomplished id

                                             spitting at the ego

(cept that which boils quintessence from the folly

                                                                              of our lives)

 

squeeze out the pulp, discard all extraneous BS & live

live

        live unruly through all the peculiar stats

accept the weather

                               in the end

                                                 build shelter-  when necessary

   draw your own symbols

                                            LIVE

unappreciated perhaps but evolving live

                through the cruel math     the algebra of the streets

                          kick open the phone box dial for help

           articulate the real of what you can

                                                                   fabricate the rest

(the rest is filler, figured in the rest of our lives,

                   figure it out):

 

    negotiate the mind’s exposure reeling in daft air

               consider dirty looks from those stuck on the onramp

                           (a challenge)

from which you have just past without haste

                                     to battle the elements and brave

            the furious speeds of the serotonin highway

                                   stuffed with oily curtains

                                   of knowledge

                                   that hide

                         so many of us from the wizard we wish upon

 

 

Possessions

 

finally, to say what

we leave on this earth

 

fading yellow & frayed

dog-eared bits of collateral

 

for who is left to extrapolate

or ignore:

 

the scent of vermilion;

the grasp of an iron claw...

 

money, friends, family;

a love letter written by a lover to be cherished

for its scathing emotional text, a legacy

hidden away in attics, basements...

 

and what of emotions?  flags

of new continents emerging

for others to be stifled & excreted

by mechanisms of control-

 

soured fallacious homebodies, we

create the need desire virus then retreat

to comfort lair in desperation

 

to find new air, finally

when all that is left               

  

is nowhere to be found.

 

 

She Likes the Blues Singer

 

mutant love call

culling from sweat-blackened

strings

wound tight & fluttering in

ecstatic

air

 

we dine with ranting mystics

holistic wannabes

swizzled in by the sax

& neon tied harp player

as our work sucks

behind to pleasure’s

eclectic

fluid

 

she likes the blues singer

making new revelations tonight

she’s got her pocket apocalypse reader

                             (the Nihilist version)

earmarked to the page

where the meek actually die with the earth

but tonight it all sounds unprophetic

like CliffsNotes to a Nostradamus final

                            

as the blue notes that drip

off the clef & bend all psychic digging

to hit that low E, she’s melting

soul & soul recovered

 

yes, the peppered optimist

done with greed & venom, momentarily

she’s a remedy for the nauseated dilettante

 

so she puts her book away

 

the world won’t end

just yet

 

 

Song of Deceit

 

A soul abduction…

               Some cosmic drama…

His poor resinous heart

   taken in a bloodless incision, executed

                                too precise

                         for mortal hands.

He couldn’t believe what was at stake

               with each flutter

of inebriate lash. 

Fooled

             by the eyes.

Those eyes… 

                                 EYES

bluer than noontime in Iceland.

 

 

Before I Float

(Through Your Back Porch Still Buttoning My Shirt)

 

Rainwater tickles down

to pool with silence at the edge

of this impossible bed

There are shadows overbearing

a big fat sun too bashful to ensconce

Which is its only job, shameful, after all

this day should be, unfettered

 

Open the windows for chrissakes

let in some air

The sound like Divine surf whispers

what’s this great sadness

To nourish & collect our being

a pale moon would suit us better I’m afraid

This frail white filament of a soul, crackling

in the tension heat

Like a car bomb this silence blows my mind,

my conception of two as one

 

With more to give, more to want, killing me

those cancerous weeds pissed forth

In anger your vicious afterthought tangles me

in its brush

But I know good life oozes from inside

still an occasional treat

Naive, sweet, all promise & apology,

a smooth balm for the psyche

That absolves all crime instantly from the room

 

Tonight within the maelstrom of expectations

I will drink

Platitudes digressing from small talk,

warm dialogues, caressing dialects...

 

Simplifying

Mechanisms

No nets, no ceilings

 

In this smiling blue hole

we call our home I am swollen in abscess

I am the deep red gauze of your sleeping

Against your kiss

I am the cool black silk of your breast

I am the pressure vice that brings you to

Yes

 

Now as I leave smashing mirrors & feeling free

I feel metallic wind at my heels

I hear the caterwauling squeals

& the three-ring conundrum left behind

Perfect

 

Like chaos

 

 

Pleasure Trade

 

lips, fingertips, plots, below the belt shots,

the money, the charade, the taxicab parade

 

o mercy to the pleasure trade we slave.

hips slide, the pouch opens, spills the love letter

 

hidden from the lover. the secrets, eyes flutter.

the bombshell pose, the cheetah-print interior,

 

the fuzzy dice play with sweaty hands,

the pangs, the morning sickness at dawn,

 

conversation went wrong, gyrations & palpitations,

assurances, reassurances, the personality tics,

 

the nightly fix, the tongue, red cheeks, the curiosity peeks.

the valley summons, the clock ticks,

 

mind splatters, nothing matters.

 

a bad stomach & no sleep.  the terror

of “gelatinous goop spitting flecks on the starter kit”...

 

eggshells, wedding bells, the lazy groaning,

the couch, moaning, the throbbing, the bloating,

 

the feeling that nothing is finished

but maybe shouldn’t have started in the first place...

 

(heart filmed in effigy.  Cupid a gross parody:

 muttonchops, pitchfork & bloated belly.)

 

at worst, lovers know the heavy stare of silence, gloom

atrophying in rooms further away from each other.

 

this is the meat game, this is

the ending buzzer, this is the tension, kiss, the release,

 

the final shot careened off

wet lips dribbling there forever on a pristine thigh,

 

the back door on the sly & then

the organic display calms. gives way to the cold

 

machinery of night.

catatonic, conformity, uniformity, anonymity.

 

the dull morass of everyday

existence. bare, bored, blaring out 

            

alone.        

 

 

Ghost Hunter

 

you were soaring through the sky

while everyone was dumbing down

I was brainwashed by the illusion of it all

wondering

where are you

in the deep cleavage of lust

there is a nihilism that betrays itself

when love is something desire conquers

where are you

where are you in the soul inexplicable

revealing itself under duress

when the nebulous nature of euphoria

leaches into the blood

its acute toxicity, its blunt poisons

ravaged rationality

& I’m seeing double, slurring 

a proof dialogue from the eye of disaster

a dial in progress to the heart

the only light that matters

I want to slip through the wormhole

of your eyes take me to that farthest star

to that movie where the villain gets away

& rides into the sun

where are you

in the pursuit of happiness

like a rope of smoke impossible to grasp

like the night

gone without a trace

leaving only gray reflections & fringe theories

searching for an anchoring light

once you built an exquisite fortress

& with your arms built a bridge for me

but my flaws were not made perfect

& I blamed my own self-doubt

full of hot air, smoke & mirrors

to be smashed & re-invented

I am seeking you out

challenging your legitimacy, your dominion

your very existence

but alas there will be no conclusions

just an up in the air grotesqueness

whose design I cannot ever know

 

 

Noble Rot

 

greeting us

blindfolded-like

 

a kick in the groin

a kiss on the small of the neck

 

love, vice, addictions...

 

does it turn like milk left out too long?

like wine? better with age... does it

warp like glass, acetate?

 

does it anticipate the stench & circling

of flies? get stronger or die

from exposure to the elements?...

buckle like a bridge in a Nor’easter?

 

sickness & death are the great equalizers

or so the poor might think

but we are not equal, no

there are the have’s & have not’s

til the end

 

this is the meat game &  I

have the need to want and

                                    don’t we all

 

I have no addictions

I shouldn’t kick

      but searching desires

almost forgotten

 

               like a lost record album

    pulled out

                     of the bargain bin

 that plays slow & you’re embarrassed

          to admit it’s your best friend

 

on scratchy nights alone

 

just the woofers & you

 

 

Why Are All These People Dying In Bad Shoes?

 

Great cities of dust    stand up

each grain of sand is a voice

that matters    as a human    who bleeds

Salt the wound    we know is there

and is obvious    as air    tactile as the breath

that escapes the living

 

Salt the wound    make the pain unbearable

Put slugs in the machine whenever you can-

it’s for the common good    it’s for

the selfish gene    that wells up    there

at the fingertips & spine    Feel it

It’s real    it’s good    it’s worth it    Teach others

to grab their share & give back the rest

as the noble soul would    wizened

 

Up off your ass collective    abandon all stations

effective    now out of that cubicle of death    go home

hug the family    friends    kiss the ground

the bare earth    each grain of sand in a chorus

that matters    as a human    that needs    that bleeds

conversation    How to live inside this burden

 

out    in the open    Truthful    Naked

Bankrupt    & Beautiful  

 

 

The Hack

 

There was the concert he went to where the singer said

“I hope to one day never have to sing

these kind of songs again”

then proceeded to play the populist political tunes

that made the band multi-millionaires.

 

Good deal.

 

He would like to sell even a few ideas

& make some money

for himself, maybe someday do something great

for mankind.

He daydreamed of making a positive difference

in the world.

 

Tonight he sits & stares.

 

Headaches, bad breath, mistrust, stained soul

& questionable motives all stuck with a desire inarticulate.

 

He has written with the cluttered mind of adulthood.

He remembered chasing the flame

into oblivion & then silence & atrophy.

 

He stares & stares & nothing comes.